pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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