My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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