great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
