dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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