When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
