U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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