Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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