shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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