I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
