I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
