pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
