:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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