there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
