Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
