I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
