I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
