For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
