Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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