Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This baby is an asshole
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
