non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
