I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
