His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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