If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
