i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
