Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
