lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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