MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
