is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
