Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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