I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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