So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
