I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
