at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
