Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
