dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
