You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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