I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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