I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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