Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's blow job season.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
