Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
