all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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