u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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