talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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