sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
