Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
