At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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