I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
