I am puke
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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