she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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