Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
