My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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